Possible Selves

On a business trip, Jewel found a spare afternoon to visitTrisha. Sitting in a coffee shop, the two women reminisced aboutthe past and thought aloud about the future. “It’s been toughliving on my own and building the business,” Jewel said. “What Ihope for is to become better at my work, to be morecommunity-oriented, and to stay healthy and available to myfriends. Of course, I would rather not grow old alone, but if Idon’t find that special person, I suppose I can take comfort in thefact that I’ll never have to face divorce or widowhood.” Jewel isdiscussing possible selves, future-oriented representations of whatone hopes to become and what one is afraid of becoming. Possibleselves are the temporal dimension of self-concept—what theindividual is striving for and attempting to avoid. To lifespanresearchers, these hopes and fears are just as vital in explainingbehavior as people’s views of their current characteristics.Indeed, possible selves may be an especially strong motivator ofaction in midlife, as adults attach increased meaning to time(Frazier & Hooker, 2006). As we age, we may rely less on socialcomparisons in judging our self-worth and more on temporalcomparisons—how well we are doing in relation to what we hadplanned. Throughout adulthood, the personality traits people assignto their current selves show considerable stability. A 30-year-oldwho says he is cooperative, competent, outgoing, or successful islikely to report a similar picture at a later age. But reports ofpossible selves change greatly. Adults in their early twentiesmention many possible selves, and their visions are lofty andidealistic—being “perfectly happy,” “rich and famous,” “healthythroughout life,” and not being “a person who does nothingimportant.” With age, possible selves become fewer in number, moremodest and concrete, and less far-off in realization. They arelargely concerned with performance of roles and responsibilitiesalready begun—“being competent at work,” “being a good husband andfather,” “putting my children through college,” “staying healthy,”and not being “a burden to my family” (Bybee & Wells, 2003;Chessell et al., 2014; Cross & Markus, 1991). What explainsthese shifts in possible selves? Because the future no longer holdslimitless opportunities, adults preserve mental health by adjustingtheir hopes and fears. To stay motivated, they must maintain asense of unachieved possibility, yet they must still manage to feelgood about themselves and their lives despite disappointments(Bolkan & Hooker, 2012). For example, although Jewel fearedloneliness in old age, she reminded herself that marriage can leadto equally negative outcomes, which made not having attained animportant interpersonal goal easier to bear. In a study ofmiddle-aged and older adults, those with balanced possibleselves—related hoped-for and feared outcomes, such as “a betterrelationship with my grown sons” and “not alienating mydaughters-in-law”—made greater self-rated progress toward attainingtheir self-relevant goals over a 100-day period (Ko, Mejía, &Hooker, 2014). Because balanced possible selves provide both anapproach and avoidance focus, they may be more motivating thaneither hoped-for or feared possible selves alone

• What possible selves do you think you may become in mid-lifeand old age (say, age 50 and beyond)?
• What possible selves do you fear becoming inmid-life?  Do you think your view will change as youage?