*MINIMUM 250 WORDS*

Purpose: To discuss the differences and interrelationship ofromance and friendship and their implications for long-termmarriages.

1. How would you answer the following question?

“If a person had all the other qualities you desired, would youmarry that person if you were not in love?” Why or whynot? What is the basis of your answer?

Cross-cultural studies suggested being in love isbecoming a universal basis for marriage and that today’s marriagesdepend more and more on the “sweetness of its contents.” Yet,scholars argue that high divorce rates may result from people’sadoption of romantic love as a primary basis for marriage becauseit may lead to unrealistic expectations of emotional fulfillment.This conclusion is supported by studies showing that while allcouples experience a decline in their marital satisfaction, couplesmost likely to divorce began their marriages with the highestlevels of affection and romance and showed the steepest decline inmarital satisfaction.  

Many scholars argue that marriages might be more successful ifthey were built on deep and abiding friendship rather than romanticlove. Evidence for this conclusion comes from studies of long-termhappily married couples that say friendship, not romance, is thefoundation for an enduring successful marriage.

Do you agree with these conclusions? Are “too high” romanticexpectations a significant contributor to relationship failure?

2. To explore this issue consider the following questions:

What are the differences between loving someone andbeing in love with someone? Between a friend and aromantic partner? What do we expect from our romantic partners thatwe do not expect from our closest friends? (Text Chapter 11suggests that the major differences between friendship and romanticlove involve differences in emotional intensity, clarity of rules,complexities of feelings, and expectations).  

3. Do we expect too much from romance? If you lived with yourclosest friend for many years do you think you would you have feweror just as many relationship problems as a typical marriage?