A young man reflects on the delights of being in love, thedisappointments of early career, and the decision to make achange.
In the course of our courting, there were frisbees-a-flying,beers-a-flowing, big bad barbeques, and more than a smattering ofsmooching and cuddles. Being together was easy and always.
We married in 1997, healthy, happy, and excited about our lives.All that we wanted was to be together and continue the fun andgoofiness that attracted us to each other in the first place.Simple enough, seeing that we were getting married and all,right?
Change from 1998–2007 included such delights as increased pantsizes, long work hours, more doctor visits, decreased intimacy, aslump in the fun fund, fewer hours together, lack of peacefulsleep, lack of creative endeavors, and an increase in mindlessspending, just to name a few.
What the hell happened during this nine year black hole ofproductivity, progress, and pleasure? Work happened. Two crappyjobs that we allowed to suck the life right out of us.
Fun, where ever did you go?
Mornings were filled with sullen grunts, brooding silences, sickheads and stomachs, and occasional weeping. Yes, even that.Evenings were a noxious mixture of prickliness and anxiety with theadditional strain of trying to show love in the absence of theresources to make it so. The night was all tossing and turning withour minds running and repeating disturbing scenarios of thefollowing day despite total exhaustion.
Finally, we admitted that we were very unhappy apart from eachother, so we quit and opened our own guitar studio.
Sullen morning grunts became laughter and five mile walks. Thedeath defying and lonely commute became an animated discussion orbusiness meeting on the way to the studio. Our commute now enjoyedtogether. Incompetent coworkers became employees of the month –every month. We really did hang an award on the wall of the studiotoo. Work hours got slashed by 50%. Evenings became filled withconversation, reading, and excitement over our tasty vittles. I canfeel the excitement over the changes even now as I write and relivethe lifting of the immense burdens of the past! Before we sleep,there is usually one more fit of giggles about some asinine thingwe said or did. And night time now was filled with blissful,peaceful, complete, high-quality sleep – oblivion.
We wanted and got our time together back. And now that we have it,we clench it in our jaws like a rabid Tasmanian devil with a chipon its striped shoulder. And fun has returned screaming withvengeance.
1) What are some of the challenges that this individual isfacing?
2) Knowing these challenges associated with trajectories andtransitions evaluate the developmental crisis and implications foran individual facing the psycho-social crisis of intimacy versusisolation.
